Day 225 – After a night of restless sleep, I started my day after hitting snooze twice. I am unbalanced, I thought to myself, sitting up in bet. I am angry, I said to myself as I gathered my things. This is what some call the “unbearable lightness of being.” Life feels like a trap.
I consciously reminded myself that I choose these feelings. I choose the reaction I have about myself, and I can carry it forth or I can change it. The earlier the better! I sat and practiced a bija (seed) mantra on the chakras. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and luminescent (silver and sparkly), and I resided in each one. Lam, Vam, Ram, Yam, Ham, Om, [Shanti, shanti, shanti om] I said silently to myself, breathing and letting go.
In today’s reading, Rolf explains how his “genuine” spiritual practice allowed him to receive the messages that he no longer had to hurt himself or no longer needed to be afraid. Today’s meditation was a “genuine” spiritual practice for me. Like Rolf, I purposefully (unbeknownst to me sometimes) deconstruct “my physical, mental, and spiritual fear.” And in letting go of and choosing action over inaction my “imbalance” and “anger” today will not harm me or others and filled me. In answer to the question Rolf posed us: “What occurs in the absence of fear?” Love.