Day 229 – Rolf discusses connective tissue metaphorically and literally in today’s reading. He walks us through the process of asana on our connective tissue, whereby it contracts and expands, and eases into movement with continued practice.  This is a very beautiful reading on movement, in general, and one that makes me want to hop onto my yoga mat.

Instead, I hop over for a read in Meditations on Intention and Being (Day 15) and am reminded of my misunderstanding of much of my world.  In his reflection entitled, “Forgetting,” he touches on avidya, or the misunderstanding concerning the way things are.”  Rolf asks himself daily:  “What is this fundamental misunderstanding, and how did we arrive at it?”  He answers, writing:  “The ability to rest unisturbed and at ease in the timeless moment is what we have forgotten and what yoga helps us learn to remember.”

There are a myriad of emotions bouncing around in my head from grief remembering Pulse and contemplating the enormity of sorrow associated with that memory and yesterday’s anniversary, to the small stuff that should just stay small, to work-related stuff.  I have to ask how I arrived here and I know I started practicing yoga to coccoon.  When is the practice of yoga and meditation an act of escape and when is it an act of self-preservation and health?  Why do different people have different answers?  Why is it so difficult to allow ourselves this short time to go deeply inside?  These personal answers are important to me, but I understand that on the outside I look, to my family, like I spend a lot of time contemplative (meditating, studying, or typing on the computer), exercising (going to CrossFit), or sleeping (getting my full 7-1/2 hours that I require).  And, then, there is the Facebook illusion, that we are our social media page.  Today, it seems I have forgotten the “timeless moment” when all is peace and calm.