Dedication in one form or another.

Day 191 – Today’s reading is about tapas, or as Rolf puts it, “our opportunity to witness the power of love in our everyday lives.” Time on the mat, Rolf writes, “opens the door to the life we have yearned to live [and] it is this yearning, this gladness, that carries us back onto our mats day after day.”
 
Rolf also writes that tapas is related to our “own capacity for love that underlies our ability to practice with burning zeal, year after year.” Indeed, I yearn for beauty, peace, inner balance, so I step on my mat each day.
 
I don’t often wonder what it takes to be truly dedicated. I think of all the niyamas, this one speaks to me. To be my best for others, whomever needs me at the moment, I need to be the best me, present in my own story, body, life. I’ve set out to establish what that really means for me right now at this point in my life, and its hard. It takes dedication each day to get on the mat, knowing I’m at a crossroads and not really being able to predict where my day (and practice) closet cat 1will take me. There are people I miss seeing, things I miss doing, journeys I yearn yet to embark upon, and fears regarding health of me and others, but I still step on the mat.
Today, I also dedicated time–I took a day off of work–to reorganize my closet.  No simple task.  I listen to a podcast–actually 3 podcasts–about how to do this during Harry’s soccer practice a few weeks ago.  I made a list of items needed, actions to take, and planned a day off.  After I gave 6 tubes of blood to my doctor, I came home and set about doing the closet.  I finally finished at 8 o’clock, no small feat.  While I write this, the cats (three of the five) are going in and out of the closet.  The smallest one, Leo, is quite perturbed by the enormity of the cleaning.  The fattest and youngest one, Shadow, is curious.  The special kitty, my Na’la, is aloof, but has traveled in and out of the sliding doors several times.  This closet cleaning was my #letgo task for this month (April).  I have other plans for May.  Tapas is dedication on and off the mat.

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